Memoirs Of A Blonde

This post is meant as a joke so if you are easily offended by blonde jokes, you may wanna skip it but if you have a healthy sense of humour, I hope you like it. If you are the person in the picture, treat this as a worship site!

I am not the original writer but I really like these jokes so I'd like to share them with all of you. Presenting Memoirs of a Blonde;


January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...Helllooo, bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March: Got really excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years".

April: Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!

May: Tried to make jelly. Wrong instructions...a litre of hot water won't fit into those little packets!

June: Tried to go water skiing but couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July: Lost breaststroke swimming competition. Learned later, the other swimmers cheated. They used their arms!

August: Got locked out of my car in rainstorm...car swamped because soft-top was open.

September: The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

October: Hate M&Ms. They are so hard to peel.

November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per 450g and I weigh 49kg.

December: Couldn't call 911...duh...there's no "11" button on the stupid phone!

What a year!