The Passion Of The Christ According To Wuching Part I

It's nearly Easter and since many people are in the festive mood I thought I'd post some holy moly post also lah. You have to forgive me if the photos look a bit blurr blurr because at this event the organisers don't allow people take pictures or videos you know so all the photos you see here are all spy shots wan! Had to steal steal take them when people not looking at me wor! So kamcheong can die lidat!

I don't read the Bible very often wan so I tend to get the stories mixed up here and there so if you see I wrote wrong thing be sure to point out and correct me also lah, kam sia kam sia.

Anyway the story goes lidis...a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...sorry that one wrong story! Let's start again hor, long ago in the land of Palestine where the Romans rule the lands there lived a wild man called John the Baptist. Many people came to get baptised by him and some even said he was the Messiah as was told in the prophecy. Like Star Wars lidat story also got prophesy of the Chosen One leh, that's why I got mixed up ledi!

So John the Baptist very humble wan and he said hor; I'm not the Messiah, I can only baptise you with water but the Messiah can baptise you with the Holy Spirit wor! Then ngam ngam the Man they call the Messiah came to ask John to baptise him pulak! So OK lah said John coz not often get to baptise the Messiah wor. Plus he femes now after baptising Jesus so his business lagi bagus!

So later after the Messiah whose name by the way is Jesus was led into the wilderness where he was tempted by Satan the Devil himself! The Devil said to Jesus; "I will give you your kingdom on earth if you will bow down and worship me!" in which Jesus said "Chey! My Daddy in Heaven owns the world oredi so what for I need you to gimme leh? My Daddy sure gimme wan! And besides, my kingdom is in Heaven with Him!"

So Jesus passed his test with the Devil and he was told by his Daddy in Heaven to take on 12 disciples who will eat, sleep, pangsai and go everywhere with him to spread His teachings to all the people. Bit like training padawans to become Jedi lidat lah! So he found his 12 disciples; John lah, James lah, Peter lah, Paul lah, etc...sounds a bit like The Beatles!

So slowly slowly Jesus and His disciples became very femes ledi, a bit like rock stars lidat and many people start to follow Him like groupies and this made the priests of the Temple very jeles wor!

Jesus very controversial wan coz He taught people things that's different with the old teachings of the Temple and yet more and more people followed him. And he also performed lots of miracles but the Temple Priests saw that as magic tricks to fool people only.

One day hor, Jesus performed his greatest miracle and that was to raise the dead! This guy Lazarus got sick and conked out ledi and got buried in the tomb and started to stink oredi but Jesus came and brought him back to life wor! So you say, lihai or not? He is indeed the Son of God like Darth Plagieus who could stop people from dying! Woohoo!

And this was the last straw for the Temple priests, they could not stand it anymore and they had to do something to fix this Jesus up so they came up with a plan to get rid of Him permanently! *Jeng Jeng Jeng*

One fine Sunday Jesus came to Jerusalem and he had a big welcoming party wor. People were carrying palm leaves and singing and dancing as they welcomed him into the city like movie stars walking down the red carpet at the Academy Awards lidat.

But when He got to the Temple he saw greedy money lenders ripping people off, traders making exuberant profits and people worrying about money only so He got angry ledi and trashed the place up but He also managed to convince everyone to listen to His teachings outside the Temple and this angered the priests even more. But now the priests had a plan and things are oredi in motion to set Him up!

So one night Jesus and His disciples sat down for supper and He announced that this would be He's last supper with them coz one of them's gonna betray him! *Deng Deng Deng* Eh...why I cannot see Mary Magdalene sitting next to Jesus like in DaVinci Code movie wan?

And sure enough Judas went to see the High Priest and to give the secret location of Jesus to him for a few silver coins! But why ah? Judas needed money coz following Jesus don't get paid wor! So he decided to sell him to the Pharisees lah!

Tune in tomorrow to find out what will happen to Jesus. Will He be arrested? Will He escape the Pharisees? And will Judas finally get to kiu kai with the money he just made from selling he's teacher?

To be continued...

p/s: Some people may find my post offensive so I go hide from diss missiles heading my way!