The Passion Of The Christ According To Wuching Part II

This post is the second part to the first part of the story I posted yesterday. If you haven't read the first part please do so before reading this part or else you blurr blurr dunno what I'm talking about.

But if you have read the first part and you are not offended by it like what I can tell from the good comments you left, then read on coz I so happy to know everyone has a good sense of humour!

So the story continues here in the garden where Jesus and his disciples were camping out. I also dunno why they dunwan to sleep in the house maybe it was a warm night. Anyway Jesus knew the time had come and sure enough the Pharisees came to arrest him there, waking the disciples up who tried to fought them back but Jesus stopped them coz He knew it was hopeless. Que sera sera. What will be will be lah.

So dark dark at night they brought Jesus to be judged by the Temple priests who accused him of being a false prophet lah and also poisoning people's minds lor. Of course you know and I know it's just a trump up charge they use to get Jesus anyway they can lah. We also know that He was found guilty and was sent to Governor Pilate who was the only person who can pass the death sentence.

But then hor, Pilate tulan ledi got waken up in the middle of the night to pass sentence on some guy he didn't even know. So he sent Jesus off to Herod so he could get back to his wife halfway through their nightly sexercise.

But then also hor, Herod was having a party at his house and he also tulan for getting interrupted by this but what the heck he decided to have some fun with this prisoner lah.

He asked Jesus to perform magic tricks for him since people say He's the King of the Jews and can perform miracles and do tricks but Jesus refused until Herod got bored with Him and decided to send Him back to Pilate coz he didn't know what to do with Him also! And so Jesus got sent back to Pilate like a ping pong ball lor.

This time Pilate got really sien now coz Herod sent Jesus back to him. What is he gonna do? He couldn't find anything wrong with Jesus but at the same time kept getting pressure from the priests to sentence Him to death.

So to please the priests Pilate sentenced Jesus to be flogged and then later released. And you know lah those Roman soldiers if they have someone to torture they sure torture kau kau wan! First they made a thorny crown for Jesus to wear since He calls Himself King of the Jews...

Then they stripped Him and whipped Him kau kau. Damn painful wor lidat, blood was spilling everywhere, Jesus crying out in pain but the lansy guards damn sadistic wan get more excited and whipped summore till Jesus half die ledi!

After the guards had their fun they brought Jesus back to Pilate for more instruction. Pilate after seeing Jesus half dead lidat said; "Wahlau eh! I said flog him, didn't said kill him half dead lidat mah! Aduh...I dunwan to be blamed for this lah." At that time Pilate thought Jesus suffered enough liao lah and wanted to let Him go but the Pharisees wanted Jesus dead! So what to do? Pilate had to give the dead sentence but washed his hands off the matter hoping he will not be blamed for His dead lah.

So there you have it, the priests damnhappy now coz they got their wish. Jesus was to be crucified on the cross till He die. You see in those days the condemned person had to carry his own crucifix wan so Jesus half dead ledi still had to carry the heavy crucifix up the hill...

...where He was crucified on the cross, hands and legs nailed to it. All this in front of everyone to see. The Pharisees damn happy that day wor, they finally accomplished their mission liao. They saved the world from a false prophet that day they said to themselves.

But then hor...after 3 days hor...Jesus rose from the dead! All His disciples and followers so happy to see Him alive again. He is truly the One who will bring balance to the Force...oops, sorry wrong story again, He's the Messiah Who's been sent to save the world! See...look at the photo even got halo summore! Now you believe onot?!

So from that day on till today we celebrate Easter but I still dunno where the Easter Bunny and the chocolate easter eggs come in though...I must've missed a chapter somewhere.

The End.