Thursday, April 06, 2006

Getting A Vasectomy

I'm so bored! Nothing to blog about, let's have some laughs instead. Found this in the paper the other day so I'll share it with you all...

vasectomy
n : surgical procedure that removes all or part of the vas deferens (usually as a means of sterilization); is sometimes reversible. In layman term, having your balls cut!


After having their 11th child, a couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have anymore children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The husband said; "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help." "Trust me, it will do the job." said the doctor.

So the man emptied a beer can, lit a banger and put it in . He held the can to his ear and began to count; "1,2,3,4,5..." at which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.

28 comments:

suituapui said...

Also got one about man who didn't know the right word. Went 2 doctor & asked 4 castration. After operation, some1 came in and askd for circumscism. The poor man jumped up & said, "Oh God! That was the word I was looking for!"

suituapui said...

Oops! Wrong spelling! Another man too many kids, went to buy condom. Girl askd "U know how to use! Just put on ur organ!" Not wanting 2 show ignorance, man said "I know!" Wife pregnant again, man went to complain. Girl askd "Did u put on organ?" He said "I dont have organ, so I put on my piano!"

suituapui said...

BTW, pretty quiet day today! All worn out after going into a trance yesterday 4 Ching Ming Festival? Or they couldn't get back...possessed by spirits???

Mei said...

Hey, if you want something to blog about, there's always the Flower & Garden show happening this week @ Carlton Gardens! Hahahaha! =)

suituapui said...

Hey, wuching! U think they all gone to jeremyc's new blog??? Oops!! Am I supposed to leak that out?

amelia said...

What do you call the sex organ of:
Small men? - Compact dicks.
Old men? - Floppy dicks.
Young men? - Hard dicks.
Malaysians? - Pirated dicks

suituapui said...

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
ANSWER: A woman would never accept a 3 & half inch floppy(dick)!

Wuching said...

STP: u sure have lots of jokes, keep them coming, i'm bored! i already know his new blog, how come ur not there? got banned again ke?

mei: i know but too expensive $17.50?! go to the park is cheaper! hehe

amelia: dreaming of dicks r we? i mean ducks!

Jacky said...

LOL

fooDcrazEE said...

roflmao

Wuching said...

jacky & foodcrazee: my day's not as bored now, if u have any jokes u like to share please feel free to share them here!

suituapui said...

No lah, wuching! I don't bother to track him down cos I think he's happier without me around. I heard QV already in and like an elephant in a porcelain shop, I'm sure he wud have done enuf damage already!

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

LOL, funny. But he got more than he bargained for, castration included!

Che-Cheh said...

I don't have anything to blog today. :(

yvy said...

omg * speechless* lol :P

Amelia said...

The census taker asked a gal to give her occupation.
"Whore," she answered.
"I can't list it that way, Miss."
"OK, put down prostitute."
"I can't list it that way either."
"How about chicken raiser?"
"Chicken raiser?" he asked in puzzlement.
"Sure, last year I raised nine hundred cocks."

Wuching said...

STP: yes i did see QV in there but he's ok.. & i'm sure jc would want u there too leh, go say hello lah!

5xmom: u got any hamsup joke u can share wif me?

che-cheh: CAMWHORE!

yvy: tell me a joke..

amelia said...

The aged patient toddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint.
"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now, Mr Peters," the doctor said, " your sex drive's all in your head."
"That's what I mean; you've got to lower it a little."

That's all, folks...& it's all b'cos of Wuching's request. hehehe

Wuching said...

amelia: thankz for your jokes, more please..I need cheering up today, its a gloomy, cold & miserable day outside!

Laksa said...

ouch! that's really gotta hurt!

Wuching said...

laksa: only for a split second, then its all blurred!

Amelia said...

An Australian Love Poem
(Who said Australians weren't romantic?)

Of course I love ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word.

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there.

No sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought u was as good as
I was ever gonna get.

No matter wot u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer.

Amelia said...

For those with innocent daughters......


Amish Hand Warmer

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold
blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing
cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm
them up." The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day the daughter was riding with her boy friend who said, "My
hands are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will
warm them up." He did and warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied, "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm
it up." He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he
said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother,
and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost,
don't they?

suituapui said...

Woman tired of going for face lifts all the time. Askd doctor to put screws on the sides of her head, could turn anytime she felt like a face lift. One day, she discovered hair on her chest, went to see doctor. Doc said "Woman, u better stop turning those screws or very soon u'll have a beard!"

Wuching said...

amelia & STP: u 2 get write a book on jokes & funnies together!

yummlicious said...

Hahaha...stooopid fella..

Siao Cha Bor said...

disfigured liao lorr...now he needs cosmetic surgery pulak

Wuching said...

yummlicious: stupid & cheap fella

SCB: no need lah, he's not going to use it anymore!