This is a special posting by Amelia to Jeremy C. I hope he still reads my blog or this would be a waste of time! Are you there JC?!
You are your strength…a message for Jeremy C from Amelia
Most people are generally selfish. They’re mostly wrapped up in their own world. They don’t usually notice your suffering or celebrate your success.
Don’t take it personally.
Disinterest seems to be the way of the world. This is neither wrong nor right, neither good nor bad. It simply is the way it is.
Think how it would be if people did notice every time you did something wrong. They’d point it out to you. They’d confuse you with suggestions. They’d anger you with their intrusions. It would be harder to make corrections and move on.
The negativity that you choose to react to ZG and even to some of your own friends who truly cares for you… is only a sounding board for what you feel inside. If you didn’t feel bad about yourself, you never would have taken their comments so personally.
What other people think is only what other people think.
Other people are just as confused as you are, just as insecure, just as frightened, just as likely to make mistakes, to be envious, jealous, or self-deceiving, and therefore, just as likely to distort what they hear and see.
What other people think has more to do about how they feel about themselves than how they feel about you.
The outside world has nothing to do with you.
The world is within you – all the caring, all the sublime inspiration, all the doubt.
The way you react to them only reflects how you feel about yourself.
Jeremy …
You have to follow what you believe is right. You have no stronger guide than this belief. All other advice is approximate.
To blog or not to blog… your belief is your strength. What others believe does not make the long night shorter.
Don’t be disappointed by the shortcomings that you discover on your quest. Your knowledge of your shortcomings is as important as knowing your strength.
Together…your friends and I will be on the sideline giving you our utmost support.
You are your strength. You are not afraid to look within…
40 comments:
Wuching, I applaud your support for JC and likewise to Amelia and to those out there for consoling him in this times, but I would like to take your comment box to state a case of making a difference between those who shows genuine concern and those who are basically being a busybody. I deeply regret what has happened and have personally msg JC and likewise, after letting her cool off for the weekend, spoken to Zora on the matter, who admits that the heat of the moment has created such problems. In thus, I am posting my article that I wrote in my journal here not as any form of threat but as an advise to myself and to your readers.
A rather distressing period brought the week to an end and when the actual parties involved have actually reconciled and most likely put the things behind and have personally made ammends for the harsh comments made, I realised that they are others, who shows their support for the party that was involved and of this people I laud and praise and thank them for their concern over their fellow brother, however, they are those whose concern of the matter does not have any effect on them or rather makes not a single iota of difference on their daily lives, decides to take up the struggle and stems to create a situation that could be considered as resolved into their own problems and creating situations that is basically uncalled for.
To mind one's own business is a very important lesson to learn. Surely every Christian has observed that much of the trouble in the world results from interference one with another. In every difficulty, one or both of the persons involved failed to mind his own business. Some people are always seeking to find fault with others, and seem to think they are commissioned to correct the whole world. We find no authority given in the Bible for such a course.
A busybody is a person who meddles with the affairs of others with which he properly has nothing whatever to do. Sometimes he fancies that it is his duty to advise, criticise, investigate, chide and reprove others. The Golden Rule will prove a great help in deciding what is one's duty in any case. This commandment of the Lord prohibits everything akin to busybodying. Each member of the New Creation should educate his conscience to discriminate between brotherly-love and busybodying, and should learn to apply the rules of justice and love to every act, word and thought, so far as in him lies.
Where a matter is one in which we are personally concerned, however, we shall not be meddling with other [R5168 : page 26] people's affairs, but minding our own business, when we give it proper attention. But if the matter has no concern whatsoever to affect YOUR own lives, is there further reason to meddle into it? A shoulder to cry on is indeed lauded, but to create further tension and trying into meddle into the affair is basically nothing more than being a busybody!
One of the greatest lessons of life is to learn that one who spends considerable time in correcting others, even though it be properly done and well, is prone to forget himself. One's first duty is to bring himself into harmony with the Divine arrangement and to keep himself there.
There are not a few who can discourse learnedly on those qualities, but who seem not to be able properly to apply their knowledge to the affairs of every-day life. They seem to be unable to realize where meekness, gentleness and love should be shown in their own experiences. There are some things which we can teach others better by example than by precept. If we show in the little things of life that we are governed by the principles of justice and love, and if when under trial we exhibit meekness, gentleness and other fruits of the Spirit, our influence for good will be greatly increased.
Observation in life leads one to believe that fully one-half of the world are meddle-some busybodies, and that many of their trials result from this weakness. It would appear that in nearly every family there is some one, perhaps a husband, perhaps a wife, perhaps a child, who takes advantage of the kindness and generosity of the others and rules the house. Usually in such cases there is much injustice done. Those who take this position often attempt to justify their course by saying, "If I did not take the reins in hand, things would not run properly." "If I dont post this in my blog, who will defend him?" Such do not perceive that they are busybodies.
This course of conduct demonstrates a lack of faith in God. We should do our duty and leave the rest to the Lord. There are people who in the future will find that they have lost much because they have not been subject to the Divine arrangements. Any one of the Lord's people who thus practises injustice is not making progress as a New Creature. Whether it be the husband, the wife or the child or friends who rides rough-shod over the rights of others, this course is contrary to the Divine Law and the spirit of Love. Some day these will realize that they made a grave mistake.--Col. 3:18-21.
The head of a house and of a family has a responsibility which he should recognize and which it is his duty to exercise. But he should do so with loving interest, looking out for the welfare and the preference of those whom he directs. The responsibility of a husband in his home, therefore, means the obligation which the Divine Law has laid upon him and which often requires the sacrifice of his own time and preferences in the interest of his family. It is his duty to discharge this responsibility. --Eph. 5:25-33; 6:4.
The Scriptures also describe the proper place for the [R5168 : page 27] mother in the family. This position is a noble one. But every woman who usurps the place of the head of the household is surely doing injury to herself and the best interests of her family, even though she may seem for a time to prosper in her wrong course.--I Pet. 3:1-6.
There are many who are impatient and unkind in their dealings with the members of their own family, but who to outsiders seem to be models of deportment. It is hard to see how they justify their course, especially when we recall that they have a particular responsibility toward their family for mental, as well as physical sustenance. It behooves each one who would have the approval of God to study his conduct, not only toward the world and the brethren, but also toward the members of his own family, that he may be sure that he is minding his own business in every sense of the word.
When you intrude into another's business, there's the possibility that you'll feel either smug or discouraged. You may see yourself as either superior or inferior to the other person. Furthermore, when you stick your nose into another's business, you may fail to mind your own business, namely the business of taking care of yourself. When the Apostle Paul was leaving friends at Ephesus, he told them, "Be careful about your own spiritual life" (Acts 20:28, Barclay).
I will recall an old story given my teachers years ago, "Old Uncle John was so spry as he had once been. There were a few black hairs left among the many gray ones. His limbs are shaky and his steps faltering. He was "no good for work anymore," he said; but there were two things that he kept on doing right along; he seemed to be always smiling and seemed to be always praising the Lord. "Happy John," people called him, and he certainly deserved the name. He did not seem to havee much of this world's goods to make him glad. His lot in life did not appear to be more than usually pleasant, nor was there anything in the way of external evidence to show where his happiness came. I had often sat and gazed upon his placid face lifted in devotion to God. He never seemed to get into troubles. No matter what happened, Uncle John seemed to have no part in trouble. With others, trouble came and troubles went, but Uncle John still smiled and praised the Lord.
One day I was standing outside the meeting-house with a little company of brethren, when Uncle John came walking out, smiling as usual and praising the Lord. On eof the brethren said to him, "Uncle John, how does to come that you are always so happy and never seem to get into trouble?" he stopped and looked at the speaker with a broad smile, and answered, "I just praise the Lord and mind my own business." He turned and walked away, but his words lingered in my ears and were indelibly impressed upon my memory. His secret was very simple, but very effective. And thus he went on smiling, praising the Lord and minding his own business, and he was "happy John" even to the end. Many years ago he went to his reward, but the lesson that I learned that day has never been lost.
Uncle John's rule for keeping out of trouble seemed very simple. It looks very easy to mined one's own business, but it is one of the hardest things in the world to do, because it is one of the hardest things in the world for us to ever willing to do. The scripture says, "Every fool will be meddling," and it is so hard for some folks not to act like fools, anyway in this particular respect, even though they are ever so wise. The affairs of others are so interesting to them! This is a very human trait, but it sometimes leads to unpleasant consequences.
God knew the failing of people on this line, so he said, "Study to be quiet, and do your own business" (1 Thess.4:11). You have no doubt, studied a great many lessons, but have you studied this particular one? It is evident that many have not yet learned this if they have studied it over. Probably they did know that is requires studying. Possibly they never thought of it as an object for study. But it is. We shall never graduate in the school of wisdom until we study this lesson and learn it thoroughly. "Study to be quiet and to do your own business." That is the lesson. Have you learned it? There seems to be no end to talk of some things that should not be talked of. Some people can not keep an experience of salvation because they talk too much, and as result they have a great deal of spiritual trouble that might be avoided. But, then, they are so interested in their friends and neighbors! How can they help talking about them? Why, just let them give themselves a few lessons in minding their own business.
Peter had that human trait. He was interested in what John was going to do. When he asked the Lord. "What shall this man do?" he received an answer. He did not have to wait for it,. It was this, "What is that to thee? Follow thou me." I have known many good Christian people who became mixed up in neighborhood private family affairs and got into a great mess of trouble because they failed to mind their own business. This applies in the situation mentioned above for as I stated above, they are basically parties not concerned in this matter and the parties concerned have basically moved on..but have the others? If there is a dog-fight going on, all the dogs in the community seem to want to join in it. There seems to be something in humanity that is very much the same. If there is a trouble in the community they want to mix into it someway or another. Trouble is a thing that is much easier to get into that it is to get out of.
More people get into trouble through the wrong use of their tongue than through any other means. I suppose. The wise man says, "He that keepeth his tongue keepeth his souls from trouble." He also says, "The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water." You know how it runs in every directions, so that you can not gather it up again nor continue it. Never meddle with the strife of others. You are sure of an abundant crop of trouble if you do. It is written, "He that passeth by and meddleth with strife belonging not to him is like one that taketh a dog by the ears." You know how that is: if he holds fast he will get into trouble, and if he lets go he will get into trouble.
There are some people who are religious and who seem to get along pretty well until their children get mixed up into trouble with some one. Just as sure as that happens they are in trouble too. They think that their children could not be blame. They take the children's part and trouble is the result. And when they have gotten out of the trouble, if they do get out, they have dishonored both themselves and their religion. There are others who can never let trouble alone if their friends, and they are often so partial in their feelings toward them that they cannot believe them to be wrong. They become all heated in the things, and before they knew it they have a big case of spiritual trouble on hand in addition to the other trouble.
When people get into trouble, they like to tell others about it. If you have sympathetic ears for trouble, you can hear plenty of it. When you hear such things, it very easy to pass them on to some one else. Never let yourself be a news-carrier for trouble as what can be seen here. You will have trouble of your own if you do. The only business that a Christian has in relation to such troubles is as a peacemaker, and even then he must be very cautious and wise, or he will become involved.
Few people want to take God's way out of trouble. They will do anything to have their own way out. We are told to leave off strife before it is meddled with. That is the only safe way. While you are out, keep out; and the only way to keep out is to mind your own business. Try Uncle John's rule. It will work very well. It is a splendid preventive of trouble. Would you be happy? Would you have the confidence of your neighbors and associates? Would you be free from worldly entanglements? Would you have a contented heart and a cheerful mind? Would you be worthy of the esteem of the people? Would you be different from worldly people? Would you be a sunshine-bearer for your neighborhood? There is just one way to do it. You must do as "happy John"-did smile, praise the Lord, and mind your own business.
At the same time, they recognize that butting into other people's business is rude and offensive. They know that people resent such intrusions and the arrogance it implies. They may also know, as Eric Hoffer knew, that "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding," that the desire to meddle in the lives of others stems from a dissatisfaction in one's own life. The impulse to mind other people's business suggests one is unhappy with oneself, while the fanatical urge to do so suggests nothing less than a poverty in one's soul.
The busybody take pleasure in believing they are motivated solely by a desire to better society. They are meddling in your affairs, not for petty reasons, but for noble reasons. The crisis they envision gives them the excuse to indulge their desires under the guise of righteousness. But if there is no crisis, there is no excuse. This is what they resent most, the robbing of their pretense. Peace out
whoah....THAT is long indeed! jer's moved on, zora's moved n i think so have many. so time to close the chapter i say.
Yup yvy, haven't kept quiet over the weekend but knowing what happened, I decided to close this matter by putting up the advise not only for others but also for myself.
oopss..what I meant, was have been keeping quiet over the blogsphere over the matter during the weekend...hiya..I think I need to go get for an eye test and eye and hand coordination test...slight case of dyslexia
QV......what the hell is that? I couldn't even finish reading that err...novel?
As JC's supposedly "best friend" I think the best thing now is to leave him alone and don't bug him. Let's not dwell on the past... we have better things to do like to plan our Phuket trip!!!..yeehah! If he wants to come back to the blogsphere then he will do so when he's up to it. At the moment let us all just get on with our lives without JC's blog.
QV: what is that?! u need to summarise ur essay my man! too long, i need to read lot when i get home tonight lah! phew!
yvy: did u read the whole lot? memang lihai u!
KNB: pssk..is QV a salesman? a lot to talk about wor!
Wuching... I nearly became a priest....but the world was more and more tempting each day..so I left.....but can still be very long winded hahahahahahahaha
Wuching: Err....I think he's one of those mormons who goes around preaching. Though I doubt if he can get on a mountain bike and cycle across town.
QV: i appreciate ur comments but next time please keep it short & simple lah, i no go to skool one wor!
The seminarians were tempting for him too...but thats another story. Kahahhah
Anyway..summary is ..dnt be a busybody, especially if it doesn't concern you, show your sympathy ok..but becoming kaypo and chap so and talk bout it like as if it concerns you personally is a no no, ie. its ok to show support and encourage JC, but then to take opportunity to blast people directly in your blog when it doesn't concern you or it was not even raised in your blog at all is just plain kaypo (busybody. Bt people like you, since it Zora posted it in your blog, have all the rights to do so...but certain people? For what want to chap so? I am glad to see the concern you all have shown to JC and like I said, I have msg him also to express my regret, but what I dnt understand is some busybody decides to raise it up in their blog when it has nothing to do with them.
Aiyo..my summary also macam essay..hahahaha..die
KNB....Mormons? hahaha..u can join them lah...aren't they the religion where the elders can have lots of wives :P hehehehehehe...and the cycling will do you wonders :P
APALAH U! Dnt insult my seminarian brothers by such remarks hahahahaha
Wuching..sorry ah...taking up so much space in your comment box...hehehe..just wanted to voice my opinion on what has happened over the weekend...have not said anything mah..anyway..like I said..its to be a reminder to myself and others on not being a busybody
Somehow, reading Amelia's posting here in Wuching, this song keeps on running in my mind....so...come on...lets sing it together...it fits the situation now...soo...
dum de dum dum dum
Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Gulp...what a long comment...
case closed
QV: i can't seem to find the pause button on u!
KNB: ur cousin's a holy man but he carries on too long lah! (no offends QV!)
che-cheh: yes lets call it a day..case closed, thank u please come again!
QV, stop talking so much la! So difficult to read such a long-winded comment. Headache ah!
By the way, "Stand By Your Man"? :))Kahkahkahhhh.........
QV, a holy man??? *guffaw, guffaw*
C4STP: yes..QV sure can talk, on & on & on..doesn't have a pause button but i think he's upset i said that so hopefully he'll get over it & come back again..hehe
wuching and amelia : thanks for you kind words :) really touched...
anyways, am in the process of designing a new blog using wordpress - very different to blogger but slowly getting the hang of it.
oh, and it's rather anonymous, too...
see....told u bobby ewing(aka JC) is making a comeback. Hahah
QV a holy man?...kahahk. Yeah rite..the ArchieBishop of Kuching. "Holy" and long winded. Thank god u didnt become a priest... ur loso sermons would chase away half the congregation.
The ArchieBishop quotes from his holy books - Archie Digest, Betty & Veronica Digest, Jughead Digest.. you get the picture. Hehehe. QV has a whole cabinet full of archie comics from his zaman secondary schooling. Can start a library. 20sen per weekly rental. Vintage quality one, more expensive, 50sen per week.
jeremy: oi! where the hell u been?! come back! come back! time to update lah! i have no one to star in my blockbusters liao!
KNB: QV not holy? he seems to talk a lot on christianlty & religions..
C4STP: hey those comics can fetch lotta money wor! QV can be filty rich!
Jeremy: That's what friends are for & Welcome back to Wuching's blog! :)
Wuching: Thanks, mate! :)
YAYYYY!!! *whoops with joy* Jeremy is back? Really?! YES YES YES! haha... although I'm very worried about one word he used. "Anonymous". Yes, he's designing a new blog using WP (about time, Jeremy, it's really kickass) but will we know the URL? Don't forget to let me know, ok? I'll even keep your identity a secret and everything. Just tell me the URL! :D
And oh, welcome back, Jeremy.
luxferi : :) thank you so much for your support - really appreciate it.
as for the new blog, well, will duly let you know (if you haven't already guessed it by now)... it's not only anonymous, it's also rather spicy ;)
signing off as jeremy c for the last time.
p.s. wuching, if you wanna know the url, just email me...
jer : you blog addict you....was just a matter of time before u muncul again. i just knew it! lol :P
welcome back to the land of the 'living' buddy!! :D *GROUP HUG!!! ~ no bum pinching or groping pls, i have eyes here u dont...bbwaahahaha!!*
wuching : yar, i very lihai, read the hole 'novel'.
QV : wah, no wonder u write oso satu macam wan. very scripture based n all. o well, good lar but i dont think it's fair for u to flood ppl's comment boxes like that. especially when ur msg is SO long.
amelia: ur welcome..
luxferi: lotr: the return of the king jc!
jeremy: what for blog anonymous, eventually everyone will know sooner or later..anyway i wanna see the new blog..
yvy: yes group hugs like the picture i did on everybody loves jeremy! haih! who pinched me bum?
First time here and was just going to do a salutation, when...first comment here is like .... ewwwwwwwww, what the f**k moment! Seriously quovadis, get a freaking life! Thank goodness, the catholic community is spared of your "vocation". It was just too much, even though I read just the first line of each paragraph.
Anyway, just greetings to wuching and contributors. I'm thinking something negative happened here, but am sure it has blown over.
surrealist: yes something happened a few days back but its all behind us now, i welcome u, make urself at home & do come back soon! :)
Ooops! wrong room!
Jeremy C becoming Anonymous???
Isn't that like Neo becoming Invisible Man???
Hey Jem...so happy for you. Welcome back and welcome to wordpress! You're one of us now.
Would like to know Jem's new blog add.
Jeremy: Aduh... I can't believe it! I didn't know it was you! *knowning wink* Okie then. :) I'm haunting that place from now on. *LOL*
cocka: aiyah..come in lah!
GF: anonymous is no fun :(
che-cheh: email jem for the new address :)
luxferi: *wink*wink* ;)
What is that QV going on and on about? I'm sure nobody will bother to read!!! Enough penance listening to the sermons in church; don't think I need more!!!
STP: aiyo! everyone said the same thing about QV wor! can carry on & on & on...
Set word limit for him. 50 words maximum. Not old already so "loso"! Thank God, never became priest! Can imagins the church comepletely empty! KISS (Keep it short, Stupid!)!
STP: u know i can't set word limit wan lah but i think he's pissed off now when i said i couldn't find the pause button on him coz haven't heard from him eversince!
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